Even on your worst day, you’ll never be as bad as this

This is a minor classic. It’s an ‘infomercial’ for a Microsoft product called ‘Songsmith’. It helps you write songs. But how does one bring it to life?


You sing the commercial and make it a product demonstration.

So, open on an advertising ‘executive’ struggling to write a jingle for a glow in the dark towel in his kitchen. The guy is a fucking dweeb and wearing a matching maroon shirt and tie. When did you EVER see an advertising jingle writer (which don’t actually exist any more) in a shirt and tie? His daughter meanwhile is playing on a laptop (that looks alarmingly like a Mac airbook – surely not) and sings to him, demonstrating how easy it is to write songs with ‘Songsmith”

Grabbing the machine off her in a Eureka moment the thieving bastard goes to his local Starbucks and cracks the problem, overlooked by stunned bystanders, one of whom has, wait for it – a band! He too is stunned and says “By Microsoft, it must be real easy to use then.” He immediately writes a number one hit in Starbucks (Did the silly basket case not know he had Songsmith already? He could be Stevie Fucking Wonder by now if he’d just used it before instead of being a struggling auteur.)

Anyway, enough of the sub-plot, Dad now goes to his shithouse workplace and plays his despicable jingle to two asswipes who look like they are being tortured as they listen. (Hint. They are being tortured) However, this is just a plot twist and on conclusion they both burst into applause for his Herculean efforts and award him the fucking Victoria Cross, a promotion and a year’s supply of Glow in The Dark towels.

He goes home and is ravished by his wife because he is such a ‘man’.

Of course the casting is multi-ethnic as you’d expect. They’re all there. although the heroes are WASPS.

I bet you don’t believe a word of that do you. It’s just too, waaaaaay too, ridiculous.

OK. look here.

This gay parody is outstanding.


3 thoughts on “Even on your worst day, you’ll never be as bad as this

  1. That has to be the most irritating pile of shite I have ever seen. Is it real?
    It is f***ing toxic. They should make Microsoft bail out all the world’s failing economies for this drivel. Who advertises Microsoft? Noddy.

  2. Mark, I was initially taken aback by how much bad language was in your post. It seemed all rather excessive. But that was before I’d watched the infomercial. Now, having seen it for myself, I am amazed at your self-restraint. What a &*%@ing steaming @£$&ing pile of !£?&ing &@£$.

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